Father Of The Bride Speeches
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I recently bought a book of the funniest wedding jokes ever heard. Sadly, I couldn't find it when I wrote this speech.
When Tracy mentioned learning to drive, I wisely heeded the advice of a friend who said, “If your daughter wants to learn to drive, never stand in her way.”—Believe me, I had no intention of doing.
I am proud to give my daughter away today and to be quite honest after this wedding; she is the only thing I have left to give.
I asked Kaz the other day, what she thought about Tim when he was younger, always chasing girls. She told me, “No problem, dogs chase cars but they never catch them.”
Angie always takes ages to get ready and the very fact that she arrived today virtually on time; is a modern day miracle. I would like to give praise to everybody who has assisted her.
There is nothing wrong with marriage; Coming home after a hard day’s work, opening a beer, sitting on the sofa then spending the evening watching the wife’s favourite TV shows.
My new son-in-law loves ‘Star Wars;’ and as he starts his new life today as a married man, I would like to quote him from the film. Ryan,‘May the Force be With You.’
I hope you will all enjoy your stay in this lovely, but haunted Castle [or Hotel]
Those of you who are saying overnight needn’t worry about not getting enough to drink, apparently there are free spirits in all the rooms.---
In fact, Kath and I found Derek Acorah under our bed.
Before coming here today, I was forced to give my wife a lecture on home economy; and believe me there are going to be some changes.
For starters I will be giving up drinking.
Then of course Pam couldn’t have failed to notice Malc’s big feet and recall the old wives tail about associated large body parts.---Yes it is true,---Malc does have big hands as well.
We call him the exorcist in our house. Every time he comes around, he rids us of all our spirits.
I wouldn’t say he is a bad driver, but I would feel safer in Richard Hammond’s car.
He was a bit of a tearaway in his teens and ended up with a bad Police record; ' Walking on the Moon. '
I heard him asking the assistant in the wine shop, if she could recommend a breakfast wine.
In many ways Chris has been like a son to me; Insolent, ungrateful and disrespectful.
Rob has spent a fortune over the years, some on women, some on drink and the rest he spent foolishly.
She joined Gourmet magazine, but a few months later they tried to buy back her subscription.
She is so successful at shopping, ‘Next’ recently applied for planning permission; To open a branch in their living room..
Jon loves music so much, if he heard Kylie singing in the bath, it would be his ear he put to the keyhole.
Her driving is so bad, the RSPCA have taken her nodding dog into protective custody.
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